This week I wanted to talk about something I have fought and struggled with for about 4 years now.
Weight Loss
We are just over the half way point in January. This is the point that some are still going strong with resolutions but most have already thrown in the towel and said FUCK IT. That is why I waited to post on the subject.
So briefly a little bit about why I feel qualified or at least "in the know" on the subject:
I have lost 60 pounds on my own. No trainers, no fancy and expensive diet plans, no surgery, no drugs.
I have gained some of it back and lost it again.
I have done extensive research on the subject.
I have learned via trial and error.
Because I am funny sometimes.
The part of weight loss, fitness, strength, health or whatever you want to call it that is the most challenging is weeding through all the bullshit information and half cocked advice that everyone wants to throw your way. Everyone seems to have the fucking answer and the magic cure that is fool proof. Basically, everyone has something to sell you. Whether they want you to buy it for money or for the sake of being right and getting a pat on the back.
The thing is that weight loss and fitness is a deeply personal thing. Your body and your mind work similarly to others but everyone is different. Everyone responds to different training styles and disciplines with varied results. The same goes for diets. So I put together a list of real world, practical, and thoroughly explored advice.
I have been down the road and I am just telling what you what I have seen. So at the end of this, you can tell me to fuck off too. In fact, I hope that your response is to do what I did and find the things that work for you and shut out all the noise that comes with this kind of change of lifestyle.
So here we go. Go grab a protein bar or smoothie and settle in.
1. Self help is bullshit.
Books like The Secret and other such nonsense that would have you believe that success is just a dream board away are going to fuck you over. You are going to spend a lot of time envisioning success and that time would be better spent planning out your meals or hitting the gym. As George Carlin said, "If you want self help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self help, that's help. There's no such thing as self help. If you did it yourself, you didn't help."
So save your money. If you want to read books that are going to help you. Try books about how your body works and responds to food. Like Wired To Eat by Robb Wolf .
Adopt a philosophy. Personally the philosophy that resonated with me the most is Stoicism. It is a philosophy based on work and effort to do your best and be a good person. Try reading The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday.
Nothing will replace just getting started, staying focused, and working hard. That sentence is basically all the self help you need. You can't manifest the perfect body. You have to work for it.
2. Trainers and Diet Coaches
Everyone needs a little guidance from time to time. That is fair and perfectly reasonable. People approach my wife all the time at the supermarket to ask her opinion on different health food items or how to tell if an avocado is ripe. So looking for someone that can get you going in the right direction is totally cool. The only thing I noticed is that everyone has a program that they worked up that is successful for some and not for others. When it is successful for someone they are vindicated and when someone fails they write it off as someone not putting in the effort. Here is thing about all that...fuck them. There is no approach that is going to work for everyone all the time no matter what. Personally, I always found it funny that some dude who is ripped up like an old pair of jeans, that has never struggled with their weight was telling me he knows what I am going through.
Motherfucker...no you don't.
So shop around. Don't go with the person that has the best sales pitch or best before and after pictures, go with the person that says they are going to design a program based around you as an individual. Go with someone that wants to get rid of you as a client too. If you have to be their client forever then they are not doing a great job. Once you get educated and moving, you should be able to go out on your own at some point. There is no shortage of overweight people in this country so they don't need to hold to clients forever. It's all about personalization. You can look up what your macros should be on the internet. Don't you dare pay someone money to tell you that.
Here, click this, then use that money I just saved you to go get some decent running shoes.
3. Stop Following Fitness Models on Social Media
Fitness models and trainers can be some of the most self righteous and narcissistic people on the planet. Their instagram accounts are them showing off six packs or awesome butts and posting some kind of bullshit inspirational quote as the caption. Yes they are sexy and fun to look at sometimes. The thing is that they make their money hustling bullshit like fit tea and waste trimmers, or just because they get lots of likes. The problem is that you will start aspiring to look like them and that is putting the wagon in front of the horse. 1 step at a time my friend. They get paid to, and most likely have always been, in shape. Their meal plans and workouts are designed for them and most of the time aren't even what they really do. They are trying to make a buck from sponsors. The other danger lies in comparing yourself to them. We often confuse that with "being inspired". But that is really unhealthy for your brain. You are you and your path is your path. There is absolutely no benefit to following sexy lady or buff dude on Instagram. That is unless, you are just in the mood for some eye candy. Eye candy is sugar free.
4. Stop Calling it a Journey
As far as I know cliches burn no calories. The minute you buy into the overly used bullshit lexicon of the fitness and weighloss world is the moment that you start to fail because it is going to pull you in a million directions. It's not a journey. You are changing your habits and lifestyle to get yourself healthier. I know it looks good on inspirational memes but it is useless. It is also a childish way to get likes or internet back pats. Don't go down that road. Stay focused and realistic. You are changing, it will take awhile, but it is not a journey. You aren't going to space. Stop that.
5. Joining a gym, CrossFit Box, Bootcamp or other fitness facility
All of the above are awesome. They are also scary. They are also expensive. So let's talk about price. Planet Fitness at $10 a month seems like it can't be beat. But that is the worst goddamn gym on the planet. In fact a study was done that proved the whole model is based on having memberships of people that never actually go to the gym. You can read that here. I get it though, you are spending money on better food, some workout clothes, a yoga mat and some vitamins, you need to fit in the budget. Well, gyms are like tattoos, good ones aren't cheap and cheap ones aren't good. Again the most important thing is finding one that fits you best. They all can be high pressure to join and give you an amazing sales pitch but you have to find the one that makes you want to show up. In this day and age there is no shortage of gyms and styles of workouts that you can find. You can even join a gym that does rock climbing instead of lifting weights and you will get stronger and fitter. The important thing is feeling like you belong there. When I first started out I went to a bootcamp and it was a great starting point. The problem was that I didn't fit in, it stopped being challenging, and the more I learned, the more I realized the coach was an idiot. It was also weird that I had to bring my own dumbbells and yoga mat and still pay them $80 per month to workout at a public park. These motherfuckers didn't even bring water. Find something that you like to do, weightlifting, CrossFit, martial arts, rock climbing, running, rowing, cycling, yoga, pilates, whatever but shop around. You have time and most of those places will give you a free week. Just use the whole free week before committing. If they are pressuring you to sign a contract before you have even gone for a week, they are probably horseshit and they know it so they have to trap you. If you are in the Austin area and want recommendations, email me and I will give you a few to try.
6. Dieting
You cannot out train a bad diet. Cheat days will wreck a whole weeks worth of progress. No, you did not earn yourself a whole pizza. Changing the way you eat is the hardest part. Working out is the easy part. Sure you get tired but you get to post all those gym selfies and brag about how you bench pressed a bunch of weight. You have accountability and get to wear cool clothes. But when it comes to food, you are alone at night and staring at that bag of Doritos that you swore you wouldn't eat but couldn't bring yourself to throw away. There is no easy way here. You just have to do it, suffer through the beginning but it will smooth out after awhile. The number one thing everyone can agree on is that sugar has to go. Sorry. But if you are just starting out, don't just dive into the deep end. Start with common sense solutions that are small and attainable. Don't go full bore paleo or keto...maybe just stop drinking Dr. Pepper or having that morning Super Blaster Breakfast Burrito Explosion. Just ease into it. Diving in head first is the biggest reason people fail. It is overwhelming and you will give up. Even your taste buds need a little time to adjust. Steamed broccoli isn't that good and even if you tell yourself it is, it will always just be broccoli. So go easy on yourself at first. Try to eat real foods as much as you can and learn to read labels. Typically if it is in bag, box, or can it's not great for you. Ingredients that you don't recognize or can't pronounces are a sign that the box of "Healthy Options" is horseshit. A steak is cow, a cucumber is a cucumber, water is water. The easiest thing to do is get acquainted with your spice rack and try to eat foods that have no ingredients. If you need a protein bar or something, that's cool, just check the sugar content and make sure they are clean. I eat Quest bars all the time. Lastly, if you educate yourself on the best kinds of food for the human body, listen to your body, and avoid starving yourself, you don't have to pay Snap Kitchen hundreds of dollars per month to prepare your meals.
7. Plan ahead
Excuses are one of the biggest cause of weight gain. You have to plan your meals and workouts. If you are super busy with kids and work and building a robot best friend, then set aside a few hours a week to prep your food. Commit to gym/workout time and make it a priority. Eating the right way is more important that going to the gym. You can lose weight without ever picking up a kettlebell. Working out is the fun part, eating is the priority. But you have to commit to both things. Plan your week, days, and hours with those things in mind. If you don't plan, you are likely to make an excuse to grab a burger on the way home or say you'll just hit the gym tomorrow. Excuses will make you fat and keep you fat and unhealthy.
8. Step Away From the Scale
The first thing you should be using to judge your progress is how you feel. Do you feel better? Are you more lively? Are you laughing more, sleeping better, or craving more sexy times? Perfect. Then you are doing something right. Do your clothes feel better on your body? Awesome. These are the indicators you should be looking for. Weightloss is not linear. You will have some weeks where you drop 5 pounds, and some where you drop 1, some with none, and some where you gain a pound! AHHHHHHHHH! Well, water retention, not pooping, or any number of things can reflect on the scale and honestly, they mean nothing. Sure, if you are heavier after a month of doing the right thing, something needs to be adjusted, but weighing yourself everyday will only frustrate you. So stop that shit. Get a tailoring tape measure and measure yourself. Go get dunked in one of those tanks to see what your body fat is. But don't trust the scale you bought at Wal-Mart to be the tool you use to measure your progress. I suggest at most weighing yourself once a week. Side note: It is hard as fuck to gain a lot of weight by putting on muscle. Don't fall for that argument or excuse.
9. But I don't want to go to a gym!
Good. Then don't. I don't go to a gym anymore. Whether you just don't like it or you can't afford it, you don't HAVE to go to a gym. All of these places, trainers, and so on are businesses and they have an interest in enticing and convincing you to go. But what I have found is that the whole world is gym. Personally, I am an introvert and I don't like crowded gyms or group fitness situations where I am forced hold someones feet while they do sit-ups. I have done it, a lot, and I just don't like it. You can go to the park and run, do body weight exercises, walk and practice some sweet ass karate moves. If you don't like the thought of someone judging your flying snap kick, do it in your back yard. The internet is a magical thing. You can read the thoughts of some super cool guy like me and find FREE workouts, tutorials, and form coaching on Youtube. There are tons of free yoga classes too. Check out my good friend Becca.
Personally I like lifting weights, swinging a kettlebell, and jumping on a plyo box. So I stopped my memberships and built my own home gym. Once you know what kind of workouts you like to do, you can start buying all the things that will compliment that for your garage gym. There are a lot of low cost options. Craigslist is a good place of course, Facebook market place, or sites like my own.
I build fitness equipment and sell it at a fair price compared to the major competitors out there. www.pw23fitness.com - Onnit has some great gear and if you sign up for their mailing list, they do have some awesome sales.
Just get yourself moving but make sure you are doing something you enjoy so that you will keep doing it.
10. Don't kid yourself
Changing the way you have always been is not easy to do. You didn't get overweight or unhealthy overnight and you aren't going to fix it overnight. I don't care what the advertisement promises, you are not going "transform" in a matter of weeks. Not only is this a physical process, it is a mental game, and emotionally taxing. Progress is progress. If you are headed in the right direction, you shouldn't be concerned with the timeline unless you life is in imminent danger. In that case, I hope you are seeing a doctor. A lot of folks jump in thinking they are going to lose all the weight they need to on some absurd timeline. 1 to 2 pounds per week is good, common, and healthy. Sure you can lose more and sometimes you will, but if you are in that range, you are doing great. 10 pounds in a week and you might have a problem on your hands. The Biggest Loser has fucked with people's heads. Those people all gain the weight back because that program is made for TV. Just settle in and do it the right way.
11. Don't Kid Yourself Part 2
The flip side to the above paragraph is don't kid yourself into thinking that you are going to turn your nose up at science and do this your own way. Bastardizing healthy programs and processes is another huge mistake people make. People want to be on a keto diet and gorge themselves with Cream Cheese and bacon. All you are doing is rearranging your old bad habits. You like to eat like shit so you are putting a new label on it and calling it a diet. Keto, Paleo, or just eating clean requires a little common sense and you need proper nutrition. Life isn't all about losing weight. You also need vitamins and minerals and fiber and protein. Oils in fish are good for your brain. Fiber helps you poop and carries food through your body. Magnesium serves almost 300 different functions in your body. So before you start dipping pork rinds in cream cheese, think about optimizing your bodies performance. Skinny doesn't equal healthy.
You also don't EARN bad behavior. We are all humans and like a treat on occasion. But a treat isn't ingesting a pizza and washing it down with a supersized McFlurry. Maybe try a slice or 2 and a small ice cream cone. Then back the fuck out of the parking lot and go home and prepare more healthy meals.
12. Don't kid yourself part 3
You might be a salesperson, an accountant, attorney, store clerk, waiter, or some kind of secret crime fighter. But chances are if you are trying to lose weight and get healthy, you are not a pro athlete. So don't decide you are going to eat and train like one. Their whole job is to be physically fit. That is what they get paid to do. So they are able to dedicate all their time, energy and resources to look and perform the way they do. Maybe you want to do that, but you have miles ahead of you before you are there. Don't kid yourself into thinking that if you follow their path, you will end up the same way. You are not surrounded by coaches and teams of people day in and out, that are priming you for peak performance. You might not even have the same physical capacity that they do just because of your biology. I will never be an NBA player. It doesn't matter if I had started training for it at 3 years old. I am not tall, coordinate, and I look stupid in baggy shorts. Be yourself, work hard, and then you will be the best you can be.
13. Set Goals
Sure, you say you want to lose 50 pounds. Then you use that same cliche and call it a "goal weight". Or you want to fit into that dope ass Sublime t-shirt you bought back in high school, again. Those are the easy goals. But you have to set some stepping stone goals. Maybe you want to lose 50 pounds this year, but how much to do you need to lose this week to get there? About 1 pound. That is more attainable than the far reach of 1 year and 50 pounds. Then set some auxiliary goals because focusing on weight loss will break your brain. Maybe say you want to run a 5k in March then do an obstacle course in June. Give yourself some attainable goals that require you be accountable. If you want to lose 50 pounds this year but you can't lose 1 pound in a week, you aren't going to get there. If you sign up and pay the fee for a race or competition, then you have locked yourself in for preparing for that event. I could go on and on about that but I think you get the point.
To sum it up- The process is hard. You are not on a journey, you are just changing the way you operate. Hopefully the change is permanent. Just use common sense to get started, then try to build on that as you go. There are things glaring at you everyday that you know you need to stop doing. You can eat well and workout all week but a Saturday night of 12 beers and 3am taco bell is going to fuck you. Get your head right and wrapped around the task at hand and then get after it. Find a support team if need one, tell those close to you what you are doing so they can help or at least not fuck you over, then get to work. Don't waste time with self help books, platitudes, or sexy people on social media. Don't try and reinvent the wheel. Your logic and processes got you to where you are now. Don't lean on or blame others. This is your problem now, you have to own it.
I hope you achieve your goals this year and all the years to come. Get some!
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